SPF 130
by Mahn
Summary: Mamoru doesn't like tan girls. Lucky for him, Usagi is perfectly peachy. But how...? One-timer co-authored fic by Srna and Miss Beltful. Inspired by Miss Beltful's sunblock.


Author: Mahn (collaboration of Miss Beltful and Srna)  
Title: SPF 130  
Rated: PG-13  
  
Srna's Notes: Rated PG-13 for sexual content. J/K. It's not that bad. But if you don't like guys like dogs, don't read this. And anyway, I hope you enjoy my fourth fic, which is co.  
  
Miss Beltful's Notes: My first co-written fic! Inspired by some sunblock that I got in China. This is for all those girls who never tan. Mind, tan girls--to an extent--are, of course, also attractive. I personally just hate being tan... =P Enjoy!  
  
Remember this fic when you set out for the beach and simply discard that bottle of sunblock, hmm?  
  
Disclaimer: Neither Srna nor Miss Beltful own Sailor Moon, or Sun Play Sunblock, but we do own this fic! Though... Guess that's not much either, huh?

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Pale.  
  
Creamy.  
  
Soft.  
  
Some guys like bronze babes. Me? I go for the girls who don't depend on the sun for beauty. They have a natural look. The skin is untouched by the elements in this universe, still as perfect as it was when it came out of the mother's womb.  
  
Well, maybe not that bloody, but just as fair. Light, supple, peachy, perfect to touch. Skin like a baby's ass.  
  
...But that doesn't mean I don't want her in a swimsuit.  
  
How does a girl stay in the sun without darkening a shade at all? I mean, even with the strongest SPF 60, you can't help getting at least a little tan.  
  
And what's with those sunless tanners? They make the skin all orange and streaky. Sure, it's great--if you're going for a fried tangerine look. How about those tanning booths? Huh! I've got four words for you: CANCER IN A BOX!  
  
One of my classmates, she made a visit to the tanning booth up the street. She came out looking like a piece of cardboard, and her skin with the consistency of it as well. She was burnt almost to a crisp, let me tell you. Come on, why would anyone want to be tan when there are hot, willing guys like me out there who want a girl with pale skin?  
  
Plus there's all that talk that tanning makes you get wrinkles early and skin cancer and other nasty stuff like that. Well, let me tell you: GUYS DON'T LIKE THOSE THINGS. Who wants to go out with a girl who might end up a scrawny, brown little wrinkle of nothing? I mean, have you ever seen the movie "There's Something About Mary"? Remember that old lady with the tenfold tan? FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T BE THAT LADY!  
  
And skin cancer? Don't make me go there. It's like when the girls tell the guys to stop smoking his cigarettes, or stop drinking his beer, he'll get lung cancer, he'll get a bad liver, blah blah blah. Girl thinks she knows everything... Takes away the cigarettes, the beer... MY cigarettes, MY beer...  
  
But anyway.  
  
Take my girlfriend for instance. She is the palest creature I have ever laid my eyes on; not a sickly, sallow pale, of course, but a classical sense of the word. I can barely resist touching her when we're together. She has this golden hair that almost glows, and these blue eyes that always sparkle--beautiful, she is.  
  
But I'm not here to talk about her hair and eyes. It's her skin. I try to avoid her when she wants to go to the beach. I went with her once. You should see how big my swimming trunks are now.  
  
What? She was wearing a skimpy two-piece, God dammit! Like dental floss! Can you blame me?  
  
And her skin afterwards? Still pale as ever.  
  
There's another girl after me--among the many--who's just too tan. She's pretty and everything, but really... She's just too tan. Maybe she just tans easily, maybe she was born with darker skin, I don't know, but when I compare her with my girlfriend and her perfect skin, my girlfriend wins,  
hands down.  
  
Not that I'd ever choose anyone but her, of course.  
  
But Setsuna doesn't look too bad in a swimsuit either.  
  
I'm staring at my girlfriend right now. It's been bothering me forever, how does she do it? She stays so pale... It seems impossible, to be in your late teens, and still be pale as ever. The question drifts across my mind everytime I look at her. I have to ask her, right now.  
  
"Usako?" I ask. "I've been wondering... How do you stay so pale like that? I know you and the girls go to the beach a lot, especially now in the summer. Even Ami's beginning to get a little tan. How do you do it?"  
  
She smiles furtively, and holds up a small red bottle with a drawing of a strange leopard-like creature on it. "This, Mamo-chan, it's no big secret," she said brightly. I looked at the label.  
  
SPF 130.  
  
Huh. I didn't know they sold that.

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Srna's Notes: I'm so proud, we wrote it in a half hour. -holds up Oscar- I dedicate this to all my pale girlfriends!! And my co-author, of course, thanks to her too.  
  
Miss Beltful's Notes: w00t, it's done! A note: For those who are tan, dark, or even black, please do not be offended by this. This is purely for humor. I am tan myself, as I said before, so please don't take this personally. Hope you liked it!  
  
Email us and review!  
  
-Mahn-  
[Srna & Miss Beltful] 


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